I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
