Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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