obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
