It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
