i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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