it's too hot outside to masturbate.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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