I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
