It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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