Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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