i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
The uberlube is also flammable
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
