Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
no you cant smoke seaweed
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Randomize
