I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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