I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
