The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
