Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Are my feet made of real feet?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
