I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
