Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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