they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
