if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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