apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
