It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
