I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
