And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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