Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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