Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
