i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
