READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
