This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
