if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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