All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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