Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
