also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
