I'm jealous of your bromance
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's the barista slut.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
