also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
