nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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