I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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