Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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