i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
