...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
