I want to stick my p in your. b.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
