Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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