I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
