i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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