Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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