I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Randomize
