I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
