You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
