So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
