I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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