he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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