new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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