I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
they're like a gay fantastic four
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
