your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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