Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
