I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
