hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize