wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
