:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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