I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
