My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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