My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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